Saturday, September 16, 2006

The Life and Times of ME....

So many Months....
So Many Drafts...
Been a long time since i put something up on this page...


At times I think of my Life and find it to be the strangest ride in the world. I'm sure everyone feels this way...I have always thought of myself as different and have always thought there is something in me that no one else has.. and it times I may have felt down and out feeling that I am good for nothing.. We all have experienced such moments in our lives. Times where we feel we are unbeatable and times when we feel the world is all set to drive a dagger right through our throats....

Today I work for one of the largest conglomerates in the world at one of the lowest positions in the company for a Engineer but at the same time am being recognized and appreciated for my work.. As a Software Engineer my Job entitles writing code and delivering defect free services to the customer and more so in maintenance projects where the focus is totally on what the customer wants and not what he needs. Anyway in such an organization where the only focus is the basic work and with the work force of my company alone at 80,000, and my office at 200 it is a nice feeling you get when your colleagues many years your senior treats you as a peer. The time when some one asks you to take the initiative or applauds you for the same or you are treated like a leader are times you feel that you are unstoppable. This is when you feel that you can do anything... And then you think back 2 years... My only aim at the time and to a certain extent still is today is to do my Master in Business Administration.. From the time I was doing my final years of college all I wanted to do was become a manager.Two years on and 6 exams and 2 interviews later, I am still waiting for that elusive seat. Maybe it is my ego, but I feel I deserve to be there and do my MBA at the best with the best. But my problem with Numbers has always left me one step behind the competition. Mathematically average and Analytically string is how I would describe myself, but today's world demands that one be equally strong in both. Language has never been a major problem for me so I is not pertinent to bring that up here. But, it is this, this inability to crack the exam despite my knowing that I can is what brings me down. So today I at that strange place where at one side I feel excited at the path my career is taking in the software industry with the fear that it's size will allow me to grow only so much and on the other hand is my wish to get that degree in management.


And then there are my passions, I love this place.. Time and Mind permits and I am here. I love to write and that is my long long long passion and love....I have always been an avid writer. Although my novel has not made much progress over the years, it is my short articles and my need to same something about anything with the chance that it may be read by millions that keeps bringing me back to my blog. Over the years I have thought and rethought about becoming a journalist but have dropped the idea so many times that I have now decided that it is best left as a passion and a hobby along with things like sketching and the rest.

And finally something that I will go back to eventually, long life permit is teaching. I have always felt I would love to teach. Become a lecturer and share whatever little I know with others.It is something I feel very passionate about but I don't thing it can be a career. So may be someday I will go back to it. Right now I am young.. Too Young to just teach....

Then is the most Important part of my life and that is my family.. My Mom and Dad two of the most loving people who are some of the best doctors I know, my girl who will make a great manager some day and my friends who are my constant support and sometimes guides. They all, always make me feel like a winner and that is what I am...

No matter what I do in my Career. I will be happy. As an Engineer or a Manager or a Journalist or A Blogger or A Teacher or maybe even a Chef...They are all a part of me and although I don't know what I want to do I know I am doing all of this every day even today. So why get myself down wondering where my life is headed. I know all will work of for the best because I know It will.


P.S : This Article is all from my Heart. When I started Off I was maybe A little down, but now when I have finished I am feeling Really optimistic and wonderful This is the power of speaking your mind(or is it your heart).This is me, Rahul Saying thank you If you had the patience to read the whole thing, I know I might not have. Bye Bye... :-)

Rahul Murali Venkataraman.

1 comment:

  1. my gosh!!! you have seriously written it from the bottom of your heart... i can feel it when i read the blog....

    ReplyDelete

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