Blog on : 11th April 2008. Posting it only today.

Loneliness is a strange feeling.

It’s been a year since I left home. A year since I started this new life, this new phase of my career. But this year has brought with it a lot of hurt as well. But, I have also had the opportunity to grow as a person, to find my confidence again, to become an independent man. I’m writing this while I’m in the aircraft going home, Yipee Yahoo.. Finally..

I never did think that this would be so hard on me. Walking into a restaurant alone. Eating alone, living each day with a longing to call her again. I don’t know if she felt te same, the loneliness, I mean.. I was hard on her, I know that. I really don’t know what these few weeks have in store for me.

My parents are completing a Quarter Century together. Wow. Through it all they have held on. To tell the truth, I was scared to leave home. I was so scared. I thought there was nothing left there for them. I’m so happy I’ve been proved wrong. I’m so happy they are still with each other.

My sister is getting married. Wow, it’s been such a long time. Time flies by. I’ve known her now for over 6 years. She is one of the most important people to me in this world and is more family to me than anyone else around. The way she talks, the way she laughs, the way she listens, it’s a friendship beyond compare. She’s always been there for me. Through the thick and the thin.

But when I feel lonely, it’s mostly because of her. The girl whose eyes captivated me the day I looked at her. The one, who by her shear presence in my life, makes it more lovely. Our relationship has gone very specific phases, the year of friendship and courtship, the year we professed our love, the year we told our parents and the year I left home. It pains me that I put her through this, I find it very difficult to put in words my feeling for her. She is a friend, a confidant, a love, a hope, a beauty, my drive, really don’t know. What I do know is that I want to meet her and rekindle the flames that have been put on Ice by this year away.